Happy Valentine’s Day! To those of you spending the day with your significant others, congratulations and I hope you lovebirds have a good one. For the rest of us, well, here’s an interesting way to feel a little less alone.
VR Land to the rescue.
At VR Land Shibuya, you can choose to go on a date with a college student, an aquarium man, or… I’m not really sure who the third guy is supposed to be. There’s even a high school girl, if you prefer women. Why are there more male choices? Why a high school girl? Is that even legal? The world may never know, but I sincerely hope the answer to that last question is yes.
Aptly named “Whispers of Approaching Love”, this VR simulation is advertised as “a dating simulation VR where you are pursued by handsome men.” Here’s what VR Land has to say:
“Is this some sort of drama or manga?! Enjoy this dating VR that will make your heart skip a beat. Choose your favorite type from 3 handsome men and one high-school girl.”
And what do we have to say? Well…
Let’s get into it.
As I don’t speak Japanese, I had zero idea what was happening. Aquarium man was pretty smiley and friendly, but he got uncomfortably close real fast. Also, I wasn’t entirely sure why he was pounding his fist on the wall. With the other dude, the one with the frilly shirt, I tried to check out his VR ass, and it was disappointingly flat.
Me, the entire time.
The funny thing is, while trying to check out that virtual backside, I caught a glimpse of my own VR shoe. It then occurred to me that I didn’t know what I looked like in VR. Of course, this was something I wanted to know, so I looked down. Turns out, VR me is a clothing rack with a rather unflattering dress hanging from it.
Yup, you read that right, a clothing rack.
These poor guys were acting with a clothing rack. I hope they got paid well. If not, I wonder if they’re doing alright. Boys, you can do better. If you’re having a hard time, I recommend Tinder. Might not be the best way to find love, but hey, it beats dating a clothing rack.
Just an idea.
All in all, this experience has made me appreciate being single much more. I quite enjoy eating an entire box of Valentine’s chocolate by myself while binge watching Netflix in bed. No need for VR men getting awkwardly close, pounding at walls, and speaking really fast at me in a language I don’t understand. Thanks, VR Land, but no thanks.